Marina Nikitina

It is difficult to find a person who does not know what the difficulties of life are. But there are millions of people in the world who do not know how to overcome these difficulties. They lie to themselves, denying the existence of difficulties, give up, stopping all attempts to solve problems or understand them. What does this lead to? Nothing positive. A person falls into a prolonged depression or gets nervous, mental illness.

If you are a strong-willed person, accustomed to face the truth, then this information will not be useful to you. If you do not have the courage to solve problems, work on yourself from today, because you have already taken a small step in this direction - you have decided to learn how to overcome difficulties.

Problem Diagnosis

To fight the enemy you need to know him by sight. Therefore, we first determine the presence of difficulties and see which category they belong to. Life difficulties:

Serious problems from the outside (loss of the most expensive property, a house burned down, a large amount of money was stolen, the death of a loved one, an incurable disease).
Difficulties of medium difficulty (kicked out of work, wife, you got sick, no means of subsistence).
Difficulties in self-identification, psychological problems (feelings of inferiority or worthlessness, depression, panic).
Domestic difficulties (tired of cleaning, cooking, quarreling with her husband because of his carelessness, plumbing is out of order, not enough money, the phone crashed, difficulties in family life).

The problems described in the first two paragraphs are not necessarily the most difficult. The third type of problems - psychological - can be of any complexity. It is difficult to analyze the subtle world called “psyche”, therefore, in order to deal with this kind of problems, one must try. Everyday difficulties from the last category are only at first glance inferior in complexity to the previous ones, they drag you into a pool of sadness, fear, sluggish destructive hatred for yourself and the rest of the world. Therefore, any of the problems is serious, especially for the one who has it.

Making a willful decision to fight

Giving a clear name is a must, because vague complaints like “I feel bad, my soul hurts, it’s hard, but I don’t know why” and it’s impossible to “cure”.

After realizing the problem, you already have a formulation. It is not always easy to take even this step, but you should not think about it, do it in order, so to speak, in small steps. Thus, you will go through the whole long, albeit difficult, path. Don't forget: "Great things start small."

After looking into the eyes of your difficulty, the problem will already decrease in size. Now it will not pulsate in your exhausted brain every day or seem like a black bottomless abyss. No, after the bold step of identifying the problem, you have already seen your enemy and know his size. It turns out that this is not a bottomless abyss, although it is very deep in some particularly serious cases.

How often does it happen that a person knows a problem that has been bugging him for a long time, but does not want to fight, he is disappointed in life, does not believe in himself and walks like a psychological corpse - Homo Sapiens lives, eats, breathes, but interest in anything has disappeared , life is disgusting only by the fact of its existence. What is there to advise?

Strange as it may sound, but if it seems to you that the end of the person you previously saw in the mirror has come, it’s good because there is nothing to lose in such a situation. It remains only to decide to fight, to solve problems.

You ask, what to do if it is completely incomprehensible in which direction to move? Do you need to do something, even if you are not sure of the correct path? Of course yes. Here is an example. Imagine that you have a small wooden box in front of you. It is filled with balls of the same size, but of different colors: first a handful of black balls are poured, and the same number of white ones are on top. The box is closed.

Now we draw parallels: one of the black balls is you. The ball lies at the bottom of the box, there are black balls around, there is also a large layer of balls on top and the situation seems completely hopeless, since there is no way to get up and there are no known ways to solve the problem.

Now imagine that you take the box in your hands and start shaking it. Yes, at first glance you are doing actions at random. You do not know what is happening inside, you know one thing - when you shake the box, at least something happens inside. And now let's reveal the cards: in the process of such shaking, the balls in the box begin to mix. It happens randomly, but everyone has heard the theory of probability.

So, according to this theory, the balls in the box will eventually return to their original position with almost zero probability. So to do at least something is, with decadent moods. And there, you see, during the shaking you will understand in which direction you need to tilt the box and your ball will be pushed up by other balls.

Difficulties in a person's life

Imagine life without hardship. It seemed like it could be better. You will be surprised, but it is the presence of difficulties that shows us how good life can be, gives us food for thought, makes us, like the balls from the example above, move. If the difficulties in a person's life disappear, then there will be nothing to compare other events with, no one will even imagine what difficulties are, nor what joyful events are. They will not be, because everything will be painfully the same.

To maintain vitality, to maintain self-control, you must always remember what was written on the ring of King Solomon. It said, "This too shall pass." When he had, he looked at this inscription and calmed down, because there was an installation that everything would pass. But he was in no hurry to rejoice, so as not to be upset later, because even in this case he looked at the inscription and was convinced that this too would pass, that everything in the world was passing and passing.

Ways to overcome the difficulties of life

Overcoming the difficulties of life is organized in many different ways. The first way: repeat the example of King Solomon. You can really engrave the ring in a jewelry store and always wear it on your finger. Another way to look at this wise expression is to make a beautiful sign that will hang in a conspicuous place in your home.

Let in your head not a picture of a sad development of events for you, but this useful phrase. In the meantime, you will begin to take any action, at least to divert attention, then you will understand what to do to directly solve the problem.

Don't be afraid to think about your enemy - about the problem that poisons your existence. It is better to muster up the courage and analyze whether the grief is as great as his tortured brain represents. Analyze it. Ask yourself: “Yes, I have a problem. And what follows from this? What consequences unresolved problem?” You need to represent honestly: choose not only negative consequences, but also a positive outcome of events. After all, you must clearly understand that there are always several options for the outcome, and excluding the positive ones, you do not leave yourself a chance to change something.

Remember that you need to be sure to break the repetitive cycle of negative thinking. This is difficult because thought patterns (the paths that thought takes through the neurons of the brain) are already well-worn paths: the more they are walked on, the bigger they become. It is already difficult to think differently, but you do it. All events in life follow your thoughts. That is, first you give an assessment of the event in your head, coloring it in some color, and only then look at everything else through the prism of your assessment. Throw away at least for a while black colors from your palette of thoughts. Any event for the universe has no emotional color, neither good nor bad. So for one person the event will be bad, and for the other it will be good. Only people evaluate events, only you decide whether you will learn a lesson from what is happening or it will crush you with your own permission.

If your problem came from outside, for example, a loved one died or you were left homeless, then the positive thinking techniques described above will come to your aid. In the case when the problem concerns your psyche and worldview, the “pattern break” technique will help. The mechanism of the passage of thoughts (nerve impulses) through the neurons of the brain has already been described above. It is much easier for a lazy brain to let its thoughts go along already known paths - patterns of behavior. Will have to make an effort of will to "blaze" a new path.

In fact, this way looks like this. Experiment with any thought (it is not necessary to immediately reflect on the problem that bothers you). For this exercise, any statement that you have no doubt about, that is already firmly stuck in the brain, will do. Usually it is from such thoughts and behavioral reactions that a pattern is formed.

Next, try to doubt this statement. This will be difficult to do, because it has been fixed many years ago and it seems that there can be no other opinion. When you try to convince yourself that long-familiar things may be completely different from what they seem, you will feel a kind of resistance. It's like cutting a path through the impenetrable jungle with a machete, sweating, despite the fact that there is a path already cut in the thickets nearby.

If you work on yourself so regularly, you will definitely pave new paths. It cannot be otherwise, this is how you once formed ideas about the world that you are now guided by without subjecting them to analysis. But it is precisely for a conscious life, and not a semi-automatic one, that we are given the opportunity to be aware of ourselves, along with which we need for thoughts and actions.

There is another plus: when you look for new variations (logical connections), new connections are formed among the billions of brain neurons, even if such thoughts seem fantastic at first - it doesn’t matter, the main thing is to cover the brain with a network of connections. Then one day a brilliant idea or an amazing solution to a problem will come to you that you could not have thought of before, because the vast majority of neurons are now connected to any of them, even a distant neuron (although the word “remote” does not fit the description of instantaneous neural connections). ).

“If you cannot change the circumstances, change your attitude towards them” - stick to this rule.

March 23, 2014, 03:41 pm

To live life is not a field to cross. Along the way, you will face loss, loss of loved ones and friends, experience physical and emotional pain. However, if you change your way of thinking, be ready for change, develop a positive attitude and realize the importance of relationships with people, then you will not only live life, but you can achieve success.

Steps

Accept change

Accept the inevitability of change. There is nothing more permanent than change. Seasons, weather, trends, technology - you can continue the list yourself. Everything is constantly changing. It is important to understand that nothing is permanent. If you are facing difficult times, then they are not forever. On the other hand, if your life is beautiful now, then learn to enjoy it, but remember that joy will also be replaced by trials.

Expectations must be realistic. If your expectations are too high and unrealistic, then the result will always upset you. If you drive yourself into a rigid framework, then you will not have room for growth and change. Reasonable expectations allow you to increase self-esteem and prepare for what the day is preparing.

Learn from experience. Experiential experience is gained through action, research and discovery. Give students a lecture and they will surely forget it. Actively explain the subject to them and they can remember it. But if you get them to participate and get the experience of interacting with this subject, then they can learn. In education, students engage in experiential learning through the following six steps. They can also be used in everyday life.

• Experience/exploration - in this case, this step means to "live" and accumulate experience.
• Discussion / reflection - discuss your reactions and observations about specific life events with friends or a psychologist, write them down in a diary. Think about what happened and what you were able to learn.
• Reflection / analysis - determine what was important in such a life experience. What problems did you face? How did you solve them? What recurring motifs were present?
• Summarize - find connections between experiences and events to identify trends. You must become aware of all the observed principles of real life.
• Application – Decide how to apply the lessons learned to similar or different situations.

1. Live in the present. No need to constantly think about the future and dwell on the past so as not to miss the present moment.

   Identify negative thoughts. Optimism requires you to change your thoughts. To think positively, you need to bring out the negative self-talk.

   Fight useless thoughts. Negative beliefs rob you of hope. By examining them under a microscope, you will realize that such thoughts are not very rational. Ask the following questions aloud for each negative thought on your list:

   • How reasonable is it to believe this belief? The future is impossible to predict, so no one can claim that there will always be one.
   • Do you have evidence that such thoughts are false? Have you already loved someone in the past?
   • Do you have proof that these thoughts are true? Again, the future is a mystery.
   • What is the worst outcome of such a “negative” development of events? You will be left alone.
   • What is positive about such a “negative” development of events? You can learn to love yourself and follow your heart.

2. positive judgments. Affirmative statements are positive and helpful statements that describe a set goal and are repeated in order to crash into the subconscious mind. Take your folded piece of paper and, on the right, write down the judgments that turn every negative and limiting thought into positive, transformative beliefs. Repeat these affirmations regularly.

   • “My life is terrible” turns into the following: “I am going through a difficult period now, but the trials will make me stronger.”
   • "I'll always be alone" becomes "I'm lonely now, but it won't always be."

3. Learn to be grateful. Learning to be grateful will help you develop a positive outlook on life. Notice the good, don't focus on the bad. Grateful people feel better, have a healthy mind, high levels of empathy and low levels of aggression, high self-esteem, sleep better, and make friends more often. Show gratitude in the following ways:

   • Write down your gratitude. Start keeping a gratitude journal.
   • Tell people how much you appreciate them.
   • Meditate and pay attention to the spirit of gratitude.

4. Change your outlook. Sometimes we are covered by a wave of life crises. It does not allow you to look at the situation objectively and find an acceptable solution. Instead, we are overwhelmed by the dramatic aspect of events. Try to make an effort and look at your life with an outsider's eye.

   • Imagine that the events that happen to you happen to your employee or close friend. What would you advise him in this situation? Do you have negative thoughts or high expectations about this?

Build relationships with people

1. Surround yourself with positive people. This will allow you to always be on a positive wave. More importantly, despite any trials in life, the strong support of such people will become your support and hope. Associating with optimists increases the chances of living a happy and successful life.

   • Look for people who have a positive influence on you. Such people know how to be grateful and try to find joy in every day.
   • End relationships or move away from people with a negative influence on you. Such people are obsessed with problems and difficulties. They rarely smile and laugh, and their mood can be transmitted to others.

2. Develop spirituality. If you believe in the existence of a reason for your life, a higher purpose, then spiritual development will help you in difficult times.

3. Help others. Intimacy with people can have positive consequences for all parties if it is based on charity. By helping others, we become more satisfied with our lives, develop a sense of purpose, strengthen self-confidence, reduce stress, and improve our mood.

   • Don't know how to help others? Here are some ideas: invite your neighbors to babysit so they can go on a date; teach your nephew to play musical instrument; offer your help in the cafeteria for the homeless; donate your toys to children from the orphanage.

4. Feel free to ask for help. Coping with life's difficulties is easier when you know how to ask for and receive help. When you ask others for help, you will strengthen your connection with these people and help them feel their own usefulness. We often mistakenly believe that asking for help makes us weak. We also often underestimate the willingness of others to come to our aid.

   • Think about the things you could do with help.
   • Recall times in the past when friends offered to help you.
   • Compare these two points. For example, if one of your friends loves baking, you can ask her to help organize a party. Surely she will be happy with such a request.
   • Finally, speak directly. Requests for help often go unnoticed if expressed too vaguely. For example, you are much more likely to get help if you ask, “Could you take the kids to practice on Saturdays?” instead of saying “Could you help me with the kids sometimes?”

Take care of yourself

1. Exercise regularly. Regular exercise can do wonders. They increase optimism, help recharge you with additional energy, fight excess weight and disease, and also prolong life.

   • Choose activities that you enjoy. This could be jogging on the school playground, group fitness classes, rowing or hiking.

2. Proper nutrition. A balanced diet of fresh and natural foods will improve your well-being and provide correct work organism. Choose foods from each food group—vegetables, fruits, proteins, dairy, and whole grains.

   • Try to limit the consumption of convenience foods and sweets.

Amy Morin

To survive during any trials, you need to be able to control your thoughts, feelings and actions. Here are four simple tips to help you.

1. Accept reality

Acceptance does not mean consent. You just need to recognize that this or that event is a fait accompli. Resisting and repeating that this should not have happened, you are just wasting time and effort. By accepting what is happening, you will take the first step in order to find a way out of the situation.

Imagine a traffic jam. One person will think: “How unfair! And why does this always happen to me? He will begin to get angry, nervous and swear with other drivers.

The mentally resilient person will simply remind himself, “There are millions of cars on the roads every day, and it’s only natural that there will be traffic jams from time to time.” This attitude will help keep you calm. Such a person will turn on and wait for the movement to recover.

To accept reality, we need to understand what we can control and what we can't. In situations that you have no control over, try to control yourself.

2. Stop feeling sorry for yourself

Acceptance of reality will help streamline thoughts and feelings. This is the key to productive behavior. How we behave when faced with a problem determines how quickly we find a solution to it. Even if our problem cannot be solved (for example,), we still choose how to react to what happened every time.

Do not indulge in self-pity. It will not allow you to move on and completely deprive you of the strength of the spirit. Ask yourself, “What can I do right now to help myself in some way?” You may have to overcome your fear or do something unpleasant. The main thing is to act.

3. Control sad thoughts

The mind can be both our best ally and our worst enemy. If you allow negative thoughts to take over, you simply won't be able to do anything.

Thoughts like “I can never do this” or “I can’t take a minute longer” will prevent you from achieving your goals. So try to notice when your thoughts become too pessimistic.

If you feel like you are panicking, think about what you would say if your friend were in this situation. Surely you would encourage him and assure him that everything will work out for him.

4. Train mental resilience in advance

A crisis situation is not the right time to start developing psychological resilience. This must be done in advance.

You won't wait until you need to lift something heavy to start pumping muscles, will you? It is unlikely that it will help you if you take it five minutes before moving the sofa. But by building up strength gradually, you will be able to lift more weight.

The same can be said about psychological stability. So that you have enough fortitude to overcome life's difficulties, train it every day.

Shaping future events. A practical guide to overcoming the unknown Shterenberg Irina Irekovna

15. Overcoming life's difficulties

Difficulties happen in every person's life. Sometimes they are resolved by a person easily, and sometimes they unsettle him for a long time. In our life there are real difficulties that we cannot change and which have arisen objectively. It can be natural disasters, diseases and more. And there are far-fetched difficulties that can arise and exist only in our minds, but which can disturb just as much as real difficulties. In order to determine whether the difficulty is real or not, you need to find the cause of its occurrence.

Far-fetched difficulties can be:

- which we may experience from the fact that any of our expectations regarding the behavior of other people have not come true. Or we may have strong feelings because it seems to us that someone is deliberately causing trouble for us, because of the negative opinion of others about us. In reality, we cannot know exactly what another person thinks and why he acts in one way or another, we can only speculate. We will worry about these assumptions if we only allow ourselves to waste our time and energy on these unnecessary experiences;

- difficulties that have not yet arisen, have not taken place, have not occurred, the occurrence of which is only supposed, is allowed by a person. However, he worries and worries as much as if it had already happened. Usually a person just has a habit of worrying, and it doesn't matter for what reason. The expectation of failure hurts more than the failure itself. Wean yourself from thinking about possible misfortunes. Much of what a person is afraid of will never happen, and what happens can be easily eliminated, provided that a person acts calmly, confidently, getting rid of his fears and anxiety.

Until something is broken, don't fix it. Difficulties should be fought, dealt with as they come;

- difficulties, the size, the scale of which is greatly exaggerated. They arise due to fears, anxiety, the habit of worrying over trifles, increased emotionality. Man himself inflates the problem, seeks out more and more possible negative consequences, constantly comes up with various details of possible unfavorable scenarios for the development of the situation.

In such cases, it is rightly said: "Do not make an elephant out of a fly";

- there are times when a person who has some kind of difficulty, a problem in one of the areas of life, transfers, spreads it to other areas of life. In this case, there may be a completely unreasonable feeling of global bad luck, a deterioration in the state of all affairs. In such cases, you need to spare yourself, not bring yourself to a painful state, a state of breakdown. Allow yourself a little break. Forgive yourself if you feel guilty about yourself. Allow yourself to live and make mistakes.

“A person is never as happy as he wants, and as unhappy as he thinks” (La Rochefoucauld);

- a person can also drown in feelings about difficulties that happened to him in the past, but which, however, are perceived by him as occurring at the present time. That is, a person remained in the past, experiencing past difficulties. Learn to separate the past from the present. In a moment of strong feelings, ask yourself: are you worried about what is happening now, or have the ghosts of the past overtaken you again?

Ghosts are not real, they will disappear if you ask them to, if you are ready to say goodbye to them.

"Everything passes".

In order to cope with far-fetched difficulties:

Method 1.

Make a list of your difficulties. Write down all the things you experience recent times difficulties. Determine which difficulties are real and which are far-fetched. Make a hierarchy of contrived difficulties. Place each difficulty in the context of your entire life. Is this the hardest test for you? Or can you still change your attitude towards him?

Talk to your difficulty.

Ask her why she is in your life, what you need to learn, what you need to understand. Ask her to tell you what you should do.

Make a decision about what you will do next. Make a small plan further action. What can you start doing right now? What will you do tomorrow? Only by deciding to do something to change the situation, you will begin to really change it and feel calm.

Once you've made a list of perceived difficulties, studied it, worked on it, then tear it apart and throw it in the trash or burn it.

Method 2.

If you cannot stop the flow of anxious thoughts related to a difficulty:

- imagine what awaits you in the worst case, in the event of the most unfavorable further development of events for you;

- accept it as an inevitability, put up with such an outcome of the case;

– what conclusions can be drawn, what benefits can be drawn from this state of affairs? How can the situation be changed?

Method 3.

Start living in the present.

To acquire the ability to live in the present, you need to learn to concentrate on what is happening in your life here and now. After all, it exists really and objectively, not in thoughts, not in stories, not in photographs, not in books, not in memory, but exists in reality. It exists only here and now, at the present moment of time, it exists at arm's length, it is painted in clear and distinct colors, it is denounced in tangible forms, it has real smells, it has a real taste that exists in reality. These are moments of life that you will never get back. We need to appreciate these moments.

“Only the present is ours” (Aristippus). There is only the present, because the past has already died, and the future has not yet been born.

An exercise

Examine the objects around you, stopping your attention on their shape, smell, color, roughness or smoothness of their surface. Think about the significance of these objects in a person's life at this moment in time and in this place. Choose the subject that interests you more than others, study and describe it in more detail, being present in the present moment, here and now.

Method 4.

If your goal is specific and very desirable, then you simply do not pay attention to many difficulties.

The more a person forbids himself to think about something, the more persistently he thinks about it. Tell yourself that you will never, ever, under any circumstances, think about your goal, and you will immediately notice that it is not so easy to do this.

Method 5.

Often a person is frightened by the difficulties that arise due to a lack of necessary information and experience. In this case, a person feels his failure, his helplessness in any area. Determine what skills, knowledge, skills you lack and how you could get them. You can develop them yourself, you can sign up for courses, take individual lessons, learn from the example of other people. Most importantly, make the decision to learn something new.

There are situations in life when the suffering due to the difficulties experienced is very strong, especially if these are real difficulties. At such moments, you can remember the Prayer for equanimity:

"God, grant me the equanimity to accept what I cannot change, and the courage to change what I can change, and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other."

A person who wants to succeed faces difficulties more often than someone who does not have big demands. Any failure or difficulty is not forever, it is only a temporary deviation from the intended goal, from the chosen path. It must be endured as a test in order to become stronger and wiser. Each difficulty is a small obstacle on our way, overcoming which, “climbing” it, we become higher and already see new horizons, new opportunities. Our consciousness as a result of overcoming difficulties expands, and vitality increases.

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The need to overcome various life difficulties arises in our lives constantly. This is the kind of work that we regularly have to do. After all, it is simply impossible to imagine life without difficulties. Difficulties arise for everyone and always. No matter where and how a person lives, he will constantly face certain life difficulties, because they are inevitable. And since they are inevitable, we all need to be able to overcome them. And in order to overcome difficulties, you need to be able to perceive them correctly and evaluate them correctly, in order to then develop the necessary strategy to overcome them. All this can be learned - any of you, dear readers, can learn this. And in this article, I'm just going to teach you how, firstly, to perceive difficulties correctly, secondly, to analyze them competently, and thirdly, to find the right solutions to overcome them and then immediately immediately proceed to necessary action. Read the article to the end - and no life difficulties will continue to be terrible for you.

But before we move on to our main task, let's quickly find out what difficulties are. We must know what we are dealing with. Difficulties are such obstacles in the way of a person that arise in unfamiliar, unusual circumstances for him, when he has to solve non-standard and therefore difficult tasks, which we often call problems. It is difficult for him to solve them because he simply does not know exactly how to do it, and not because they are very complex in themselves. That is, those obstacles, barriers, barriers, obstacles that we perceive as difficulties - arise primarily in our head and are related specifically to us. In fact, difficulties can be the same ordinary things that a person does in his life all the time, without even thinking about how difficult they are for him. But, if they turn out to be unusual, unusual, non-standard things for him, which he does not know how to do, he will have difficulties. In other words, we are talking about new life tasks, for the solution of which it is necessary to understand them. And until a person understands them, they will remain difficulties for him. A difficult situation is simply an unusual situation when a person faces tasks that he has no experience in solving. That, in fact, is all. And there is nothing wrong with difficulties. This is very important to understand, friends. After all, the devil is not so terrible as he is painted. Difficulties become difficulties only because we treat them as difficulties, endowing this concept with a negative meaning. Let us now see what the meaning of difficulties is, in order to learn to perceive them normally and calmly.

What is the point of hardship

So, let's think about why life cannot be such that there are no difficulties and problems in it at all, so that you can live and not care about anything, not worry about anything, not puzzle over all sorts of difficulties that always complicate and make our lives worse. Therefore, our life cannot be such that the absence of any problems, difficulties, obstacles in it would make it very boring, not interesting and meaningless. The absence of difficulties in life would not allow it to develop, we would stop developing, and everything would remain at the same level, nothing would change in our life. And if a person does not develop, then he begins to degrade. After all, life itself, if we look closely at it, is a constant process, it is a movement from something to something - from birth to death, from an undeveloped state to a developed one, from simple to complex, from one form to another. And it is thanks to this movement, this continuous process of transition from one state to another, that we live, we value and love our life, we value it, support it, see the meaning in it. Therefore, our life cannot be without difficulties, for difficulties are life itself. They are the ones who make us change, they are the ones who keep us alive and guide us through life. And the one who denies the need for difficulties, in fact, denies life itself. And this speaks of the initial stage of degradation. The need for the absence of difficulties is not a normal need. The normal need is the need to solve problems. Only in this case a person lives, and does not live his life. Therefore, the meaning of difficulties is to support life, to make it interesting, to give it meaning, and also to develop people, that is, you and me. So life without difficulties is not life, it is something else.

Thus, in order not to go against the fundamental laws of life, you and I need to recognize the usefulness and interestingness of all those difficulties that life regularly throws at us. This will allow us, you friends, to change our attitude towards them. And thanks to this, you will take the first step towards overcoming them. We will learn to smoothly overcome difficulties so that you don’t even notice how they turn from difficulties into part of everyday tasks that you can easily solve. But keep in mind that the ease of solving them will depend on your attitude towards them, and not on the process itself.

How to deal with difficulties

Now let's talk in more detail about how to perceive difficulties in order to learn how to overcome them. I have already said above that it is important, very important to understand the usefulness and necessity of various kinds of difficulties in our life. And also their inevitability. It is important to understand that various difficulties and problems are our life. Or rather, its integral part. Without them, you would not be interested in living, without them you would not see life at all, not to mention the fact that without difficulties you would not be able and would not want to develop. Life cannot be improved without development. Therefore, life always keeps us in good shape when it throws us certain difficulties. And I believe that these difficulties should be considered as a test that each of us must pass regularly in order not to lose interest in life, and in order to constantly develop. Therefore, let's just perceive them in this way - as tests. And even better, as a game in which we need to pass these tests in order to become stronger. Do you like this approach to difficulties? I really like. I hope you do too.

Therefore, there is no need to look at difficulties as something bad, wrong, harmful, undesirable - rejoice at them, accept them, look at working with them as a game that you need to win. Moreover, this is such a game that spins in a spiral, this is when, overcoming all sorts of difficulties, you become stronger and stronger, moving from one difficulty to another. And as you become stronger, you improve your life, because many things begin to work out for you, many things become within your power. Think about what abilities you can develop in yourself by taking on the solution of a particular problem. And how these abilities will affect your future life. It is clear that it is positive, because the more we know how to do, the easier it is for us to live. So difficulties are a kind of simulator for personal growth, with which you will make yourself stronger and rise to new heights for you. It's so cool, you see. I tell you this as a person who constantly solves some problems, not only his own, but also others. Moreover, when solving other people's problems - I make them my own problems, I get used to them, I take the place of another person, as far as possible and begin to live with his problem in order to solve it later. And you know what? I like it. I have long ceased to be afraid of any problems and life difficulties, because I know that all problems can be solved. But the main thing is not this. The main thing is that by solving these problems, I stop seeing problems in problems, I become stronger and overcome difficulties without noticing them. This is how difficulties affect our lives, if they are treated correctly.

This is how you, friends, need to perceive the difficulties in your life in order to deal with them correctly. Our understanding and acceptance of them begins with our correct attitude towards them. Why do we need an easy and carefree life, well, think for yourself, why? Just to burn it faster? What is the point of just existing, what is the joy in that? It is much more interesting to live, overcoming difficulties and constantly developing yourself with their help, in order to expand the horizons of your life through this and see something new, experience new sensations, and achieve more. It's such an interesting game. We need to thank life for it.

Overcoming difficulties

Having dealt with correct perception difficulties in life and our attitude towards them based on this perception, we will move with you to ways to overcome them. And in order to overcome difficulties, no longer in my head, as I wrote above, but in real life, it is extremely important to identify the causes of their occurrence and deal with the basics of these causes. That is, it is necessary to conduct a thorough analysis of our difficulties in order to understand why they arose and how best to overcome them, with the help of what specific actions.

Some difficulties arise for objective reasons, when life circumstances do not develop in the best way for a person, and nothing can be done about them - you either need to accept reality as it is, or look for ways to get away from it into another reality. Well, you know, how it sometimes happens when a person is surrounded by the wrong people, whom he, with all his desire, cannot change - he has no choice but to simply get away from them, get rid of their environment. Or, say, a person can live in a country in which, for a number of reasons, he has no prospects, and then it is easier for him to change this country than to change it. Difficulties that arise for objective reasons require us to make the right decisions. They just guide us through life. But it also happens that people themselves drive themselves into difficult life situations and then, instead of admitting their own mistakes and starting to solve them, they blame other people for their problems, thereby shifting responsibility for their lives to everyone except themselves. And this is a dead end, friends, this is a dead end. And you can’t get out of it - if you don’t start to figure out what happened and for what reason, and what exactly you did wrong, because of which certain difficulties arose in your life. At the same time, there is no need to blame anyone - not circumstances, not other people - this is pointless. If you yourself got into a dead end in the labyrinth, then you have to get out of it. Blaming the labyrinth for its existence is just as pointless as blaming life for being the way it is. From our dissatisfaction and accusations of everyone and everything, the fundamental laws of nature do not change. By the way, you don't have to blame yourself either. If you yourself have created problems for yourself, then look at it philosophically - you will do it better than other people. This will allow you to take control of your own life.

Now let's move on to consider step by step actions with which you can overcome your difficulties.

1. Concentration. To cope with a problem, to solve a problem, to overcome some difficulties, you need to be able to concentrate on them. It's not an easy task, I know from my own experience. But doable, I know that too. In order to concentrate on something, you need to put things in order in your head - throw out all the useless thoughts that create noise from it, streamline your thinking, put everything on the shelves, and then carefully and consistently begin to study your problem, or better to say, task. Many difficulties disappear already at this stage of working with them, when there is no need to look for any solutions, and no action needs to be taken. It is enough just to concentrate on your difficulties and understand what exactly they are, what caused them and what they need from you. So concentration is very important, it will help you not to mix your thoughts with each other and not to dump them in one heap. From this, the problems only get worse, and the tasks become more complicated. If you do not know how to concentrate, do not know how to manage your attention - learn! This is within the power of every person. You must be able to manage your attention, otherwise other people will manage it, they will simply start stealing it from you and using it in their own interests. You don't need it, do you? In the future, I will write for you, dear readers, articles on the topic of concentration to teach you how to concentrate. We will study this topic in the most thorough way. So don't forget to keep the site updated.

2. Analysis. Now let's move on to the analysis. Let's talk about how to do it. You need to make an analysis of the situation in which you find yourself, as well as an analysis of the actions by which you came to this situation, and then an analysis of the difficulties that you encountered. After analyzing the situation, you will immediately understand its pattern, which means you can eliminate the root cause of your problems. Difficulties themselves always tell us the way to overcome them, if we carefully study them. I will write a separate article on how to analyze this or that situation, but for now I will point out to you the most important aspect of this work. You do not have to consider all the reasons why certain difficulties have arisen in your life - it is enough to find the main reason, or several main reasons. And for this it is necessary to think not in breadth, but in depth.

How to do it? Through the study of causal-effect relationships. It is possible, and vice versa, to study causal relationships, it is not so important what is primary and what is secondary. But I think it's much easier to move from effect to cause when analyzing a situation, rather than from cause to effect. I think it's more convenient. So, let's say you find yourself in a situation due to which you have certain difficulties, and this situation is a consequence, a consequence of some of your actions and circumstances. The question is - which ones? To understand this, you need to remember everything that you did before you had difficulties. Do not take into account only what, from your point of view, could lead you to the situation in which you find yourself. You may be wrong. Therefore, take into account all the decisions you have made and the actions you have taken. Then determine their sequence in order to understand which of your actions was performed earlier and which later, that is, which follows which. This will help you find one or more root causes. Then you need to turn your attention to the objective factors that may have been decisive in the process of shaping your situation, and perhaps not. You also need to decompose them by time in order to understand how it all began. Suppose you have material difficulties in your life, and you must understand exactly why this happened. Perhaps it's all about the crisis that has knocked down many people, not just you. This is, so to speak, an objective factor. Or perhaps the whole point is to reduce your income, which has declined for certain reasons that depend on you. You need to find out exactly why this happened. In other words, all difficulties have underlying causes, which in turn can be in the form of objective and subjective factors. As a rule, both those and other factors to a certain extent influence the formation of various life situations. Only some of them play more important role, and some less important. And it will be easier for you to understand the reason for the occurrence of certain difficulties in you, the more fundamental the factors that you found that led to them turn out to be.

Simply put, you need to find the root of your difficulties in order to eliminate it as the root cause. Thus, the analysis will allow you to break down your situation into those time periods from which it has developed, and when you find the main reason that led you to this situation, you can eliminate it. Well, or a specialist to whom you turn for help, having studied your situation, will do it for you.

3. A responsibility. The next thing you should pay attention to in order to overcome difficulties and solve all sorts of problems is that you do not need to blame them on anyone. Basically, I'm talking about people's complaints about their lives, that they cry when they tell other people about their difficulties and often want to be sympathized with, to be pitied. Not to help, suggest what and how to do in order to solve their problems, but simply sympathize. Friends are a very bad habit. It may be useful for someone to cry, complain, talking about their problems for psychological relaxation, but this teaches a person to put up with them, put up with their difficulties, instead of overcoming them. And if a person does not overcome his difficulties, but puts up with them, then he deprives them of their meaning. Difficulties arise in a person's life not so that he complains about them, but so that he overcomes them. Life wants from a person that he becomes stronger, that he develops, that he takes a worthy place in society, so she trains him with the help of her trials. And if a person refuses them, these tests, he goes against the laws of the universe, against the laws of the Universe, against the laws of God. Here's what's important to understand. Therefore, there is no need to complain, no need to cry - look for a solution to the tasks you are facing, do it yourself or with the help of specialists whose knowledge and experience will help you solve all your problems. That's what is required of you - the ability to solve problems, including non-standard ones. This is what you do, with the help of your own and outside resources. And you don’t need to whine and complain about your life - it won’t give you anything. But if you need it, then please - whine, complain, feel sorry for yourself. But then, when it becomes easier for you, start solving your problems, overcome the difficulties that have arisen in your life. The problem is not in tears and snot, the problem is inaction. The main thing is that you are not passive, that you do not put up with your problems and difficulties, and do not shift the responsibility for them to other people, just to do nothing. You understand that this will not lead to anything good for you, your problems will only get worse.

4. Emotions. Emotion control is also enough important point in overcoming difficulties. Emotions, you know, push us to the most primitive actions, to the most obvious decisions, to absolutely ill-conceived actions. Because of this, we make mistakes, thereby not solving, but exacerbating our problems. Emotions are inevitable and not only necessary, but they must be controlled. There is good ways that allow you to do this, and I have repeatedly written about them on this site. The main thing is to turn on your thinking when emotions begin to overcome you, and for this you need to load yourself with questions, and of course, start looking for answers to them, and then the thinking process will start. By subduing your emotions, you will significantly simplify the solution of the problems and tasks you face. After all, we are mainly because of them, because of emotions - we make an elephant out of a fly, sometimes seeing difficulties and problems in what they really do not exist. So who knows, perhaps by calming yourself - you will immediately get rid of all your problems. But, in some cases, in order for an impetus to action to appear, it is necessary to experience strong emotions. It doesn't matter if it's positive or negative emotions, different people have different motivation, it is important that, having experienced these emotions, a person get off the ground and take action. So, if, for example, you are experiencing life difficulties, which are mainly related to your passivity and laziness, then a portion of strong negative emotions will obviously not hurt you if it makes you move. Emotions give a person energy to perform actions, so I do not urge you to give them up, you just need to learn how to control and manage them. If you learn this, and I am sure you will learn - I will teach you this, then the number of mistakes you make in your life will decrease significantly. And you can motivate yourself with the help of your emotions, to overcome the same difficulties, if, or rather, when, you take them under your control.

5. Confidence. Without a doubt, self-confidence contributes to solving all the problems that may arise in our life, and, accordingly, it also contributes to overcoming life's difficulties. But now I would like to point out to you another confidence, one that is connected with the difficulties that life throws at us as, as we agreed, tests. Friends, I am absolutely convinced that life always throws us only such difficulties that we can overcome. She does not have a goal - to break us, she does not need it. But no one has canceled the law of natural selection - if you want to survive, you must be strong. And to be strong, you have to put yourself to the test - physical, mental and intellectual. And the difficulties that arise in our lives do just that - they moderately burden us. Therefore, even if you are an insecure person, then at least be sure that the difficulties that you face in your life are within your power to overcome. This I guarantee you. It really is. The confidence that you can overcome all the trials that life puts you through is what you need to overcome difficulties. At the same time, I repeat, you can even be an insecure person, it does not matter, you can still overcome all the difficulties that are in your life. They, these difficulties, are prescribed to you by life according to an individual prescription. So they are in your teeth, do not doubt it. But if you also develop self-confidence, it will be absolutely fine.

Here, in fact, are all the basic steps that you need to take to overcome various life difficulties. I did not go into too much detail on this topic, otherwise the article will turn out to be too large, not everyone will dare to read it. Better in the future, I will return to this topic again and consider it from other points of view, for a better understanding of it. In the meantime, you see, there is nothing complicated in the actions I have described. First of all, you need to change your attitude to difficulties so that they do not frighten and suppress you, then analyze them in the way I have proposed, then develop a simple plan of action and proceed to its implementation. Everything else is related this process procedures.

So, as you can see, friends, to overcome difficulties, whatever they may be, is within the power of every person. You just need to accustom yourself to this, and then you will not even notice many difficulties and problems, because they will not cause you any discomfort, and you will automatically begin to solve them all. This is called unconscious competence, when everything works out as it should, without any tension.

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